Motherhood and Adoption

Nearly 4 years ago I was given a wonderful gift by God, my husband, a dear friend (Memaw), and a very confused young girl.  I was offered the blessing of being a mother to our 4th daughter.  Those early weeks when it was more talk than action, were hard.  I was so anxious to love and take care of this precious baby girl.  I knew the years ahead would be different for her than my other girls.  I knew that one day she may find me not to be enough of a mommy for her.  But I was willing to take that risk.  I, we all, needed her and she needed our family!

I knew one day she would begin to ask questions.  Why is my skin different from my sisters?  Why don't you have any pictures or video of me in your tummy, Mommy?  Why can't we watch my birthday video like we have of my sisters?  We decided to wait until these questions came from her naturally.  We waited and waited.

While we waited we have, at times, talked about her being adopted in her presence.  Alpheus has used the story for an illustration many times in sermons.  We have had people at church, at family gatherings, at homeschool gatherings, at Wal-mart, and so on ask in front of her if she was "ours."  I have always answered with joy about her being adopted.  However I did ask the girls not to discuss this topic with her, but to let her come to us.  I realized the other day that as she is nearly five and sharp as a tack, she may begin to take more notice to these moments when it is mentioned.  I didn't want her to "find out" she is adopted on the playground when she over hears her older sisters explaining why she doesn't look like them.  So I took the plunge and talked with her about it.

I would love to know what she was really thinking.  I asked her, "Lydia, when were you in Mommy's tummy."  "Before I was born?" she responded with a funny questioning look as if to say, didn't you know that Mommy.  Then I explained that she had never been in my tummy, but she had certainly been born in my heart, even before I knew she was going to be mine.  One of her first questions was what was her real birthday.  Isn't that funny?  I don't know if she thought we changed it or if she meant the day she was born in my heart.  She also wanted to know if that lady had any more children.  So we talked and I answered her questions as best I could.  She didn't ask much, but she listened to all I had to say very intently. 

Then I told her how I was adopted too.  I explained that God had adopted me as his daughter because He loved me and wanted me to come and live with Him in heaven one day.  And that even now He lives in me and helps me in all I do.  I told her that God gave her to me (us) and that I loved her so dearly.  I cried a lot and she kept patting me and telling me she loved me.  It makes me cry now to think of it.  :) 

I know that there will be more questions in the future.  I am counting on God to lead me as we go, as I know He has led us so far.  I look forward to celebrating Lydia's 5th birthday soon, but I also look forward to finally celebrating her adoption day on November 5th of this year!

Lydia dancing for us! :)

With All My Heart~